"Stillness Reserves Silence" Portrait of Sandra G.
18"x24" left-hand, pastels, black acrylics, sharpie and colored pencil on medium weight paper.
When I have more time .... or rather, when the semester is finally over and I'm undoubtedly plagued with both alone time and an irrationally spastic emotional state, I'm hoping to continue a series of portraits that depict people I actually know! I had this idea originally awhile back -- my intent was, of course, to paint such a series. However, I'm still unable to use my right hand for extensive art purposes and it acts up every time I'm around paint.
SoOOooooo ... pastels. I'm sticking with my left hand and exploring the artistic realm of pastels.
This whole process puts me in an odd predicament, to say the least. I find myself being even more cautious about details and less willing to put pieces of "myself" or my experience into images that represent those that I know personally. At the same time, I'm admittedly intrigued by where this might lead ... what messages and moods might emerge in the final result? ... to what extent will knowing my subjects impact this? ... will the people I draw be satisfied with their representation? ... how do I describe the people I'm drawing? (which, probably will be the most difficult/inconsistent part).... e.t.c......
Sosossososososoooo ........... Who is Sandra?!
Sandra is a person I became acquainted with sometime towards the end of last year, around the start of all my carpal tunnel issues. We were at a Vietnamese restaurant with a mutual friend when she first asked if I would be willing to paint her portrait; given her interesting appearance and personality, of course I agreed to! I loved drawing her and think the world of her matter-of-fact humor and thoughtfulness.
Recently she posted a status to her facebook which kind of reiterated something I tend to reflect on a lot in my work:
"Lately, I've been having so many random captivating conversations with everyone I cross paths with. Interesting enough they are all intertwining with each other. No conversation is the same and I have not had the opportunity to open up to these individuals but their sharing their experiences and ideas with me sends my mind into a state of clarity, motivation and a growing hunger to succeed in the things I am most passionate about! Life is a journey and the people placed in it are there for a reason. Although the reason are many and some are not always pleasant we must always learn from them......
LIVE, LOVE, LEARN AND LAUGH!"
As I've said before, it's those intertwining conversations (what I've occasionally called "patterns", "manifestations", etc.) that inspire the majority of my work -- specifically the colors. It's always exciting to me when other people notice them! It's exciting to talk about them, because they lead to ... I don't know ... these refreshingly deep conversations about the "threads" that bring us together. It's more than just everyone being "human" though. I used to rationalize it that way, but I believe now that it goes beyond that ...
In the meantime, I've progressed, lately, into contemplating how these conversational patterns embody time ... how our age becomes a factor in what we perceive our surroundings to be ... and how age and time are both so arbitrary, that under many circumstances, I'm finding they have virtually nothing to do with perception. And of course, there's a Kahlil Gibran quote for everything (this one is from "The Broken Wings"); "Thus, the appearance of things changes according to the emotions, and thus we see magic and beauty in them ... while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves."
Other themes as of late include doubt.... What a fascinating thing. There is no faith without doubt and vice versa. Just as courage is persistence in the presence of fear, belief is such in the presence of doubt. More on that later, I think!
And music-wise, I listened to my usual throughout the process of pastel-ing .... a couple days ago, though, I discovered Michael Kiwanuka and his magic voice. It actually gave me the motivation to complete this piece:
This life ... (Buhay na 'to as a friend taught me to say!)
Somewhere along the lines of fate .... An ever expanding, quadrillion-factorial different ways to spread the same message, to have an impact, to create, to be consistently inconsistent... I find a sort of destiny speaking in remote scintillations of time... in the silent threads of divine music and noise and sound....
If I had to put it in words?