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http://www.hobartpulp.com/fiction/dec05jodzio.html 

The Monroe Family Bed Wishes to Die
Sorry, I just can't marry a woman that does not look hot on the Jumbotron
I totally spaced telling you about that lair in my basement.
A toast to Randy, the oldest son in my secret family
James, I cannot even begin to imagine who threw that bag of feces into your dishwasher
I am so sorry that my homing device was chafing your ankle
The Bog Body